small town men
oh, you have got to love men who live in a small, very small town. they are truly unique in their outlook on women and how they should be treated.
as previously mentioned i was on a mission to get boozed - it just so happened while i was still staying with my mum. my cousin and i head off to probably one of the only bars in the area where i proceed to smash shot after shot in my face (and 'win' best bum the bartender had ever seen award which won me countless free drinks!mmm!) so by the time i eye out S i think he is a lot hotter than when i saw him working in the butchery (no laughing please! haha!). i ended up scoring S way too many times for my liking and end up giving him by phone number - why did i do it???????????
the next day, i get no less than 3 phonecalls and 8 SMSes. goodness me.
the following day is my last night with my mum so me, her, my cousin and my aunt all go out for dinner. i get an SMS from S begging me to come to the other only bar in town for a goodbye drink. i grimace. i don't want to but because my mum has now retired just outside this small town i go - to keep the peace per se, however, i am in for a shock....
he though we were boyfriend and girlfriend - just after kissing!!!! what would have happened if we had slept together - probably be married by now. hell no. he told me not to smoke or drink or shake my 'oh so fine ass' when i dance - not a chance, i'm a woman who likes to do all 3 very very very much. needless to say i quickly told him exactly what i saw him as (a quick kiss) and that i was in no position to be dating and i'm sorry for leading you on. this is when it turned nasty...
he got so mean and hurtful towards me in front of everyone in the bar - not what i neeeded. then for the cherry on top of his shittyness - there was this other drunk who spilled his entire drink into my lap so i yell 'jesus' and who should raise their hand as if to slap my face - none other than S. ooooo, i was SO angry already and that just made me more so and doubly aggressive - i had to go home otherwise i probably would have done something i regretted and would now be in jail! haha!
anyways, he then phones me when i get home (does he EVER give up you may be asking, no) and proceeds to tell me that he has loved me since he first saw me enter the butchery with my mum - that was FOUR days ago. what do you mean....?
yup, i do find myself in a slightly sticky position yet again. S has SMSed me every day since i got home to JHB - what do i do? do i ignore his SMSes in hope they stop or do i reply in a VERY neutral way so as not to make my next trip to my mum an awkward one when i go to the butchery with my mum - which i may never actually do ever again!
as previously mentioned i was on a mission to get boozed - it just so happened while i was still staying with my mum. my cousin and i head off to probably one of the only bars in the area where i proceed to smash shot after shot in my face (and 'win' best bum the bartender had ever seen award which won me countless free drinks!mmm!) so by the time i eye out S i think he is a lot hotter than when i saw him working in the butchery (no laughing please! haha!). i ended up scoring S way too many times for my liking and end up giving him by phone number - why did i do it???????????
the next day, i get no less than 3 phonecalls and 8 SMSes. goodness me.
the following day is my last night with my mum so me, her, my cousin and my aunt all go out for dinner. i get an SMS from S begging me to come to the other only bar in town for a goodbye drink. i grimace. i don't want to but because my mum has now retired just outside this small town i go - to keep the peace per se, however, i am in for a shock....
he though we were boyfriend and girlfriend - just after kissing!!!! what would have happened if we had slept together - probably be married by now. hell no. he told me not to smoke or drink or shake my 'oh so fine ass' when i dance - not a chance, i'm a woman who likes to do all 3 very very very much. needless to say i quickly told him exactly what i saw him as (a quick kiss) and that i was in no position to be dating and i'm sorry for leading you on. this is when it turned nasty...
he got so mean and hurtful towards me in front of everyone in the bar - not what i neeeded. then for the cherry on top of his shittyness - there was this other drunk who spilled his entire drink into my lap so i yell 'jesus' and who should raise their hand as if to slap my face - none other than S. ooooo, i was SO angry already and that just made me more so and doubly aggressive - i had to go home otherwise i probably would have done something i regretted and would now be in jail! haha!
anyways, he then phones me when i get home (does he EVER give up you may be asking, no) and proceeds to tell me that he has loved me since he first saw me enter the butchery with my mum - that was FOUR days ago. what do you mean....?
yup, i do find myself in a slightly sticky position yet again. S has SMSed me every day since i got home to JHB - what do i do? do i ignore his SMSes in hope they stop or do i reply in a VERY neutral way so as not to make my next trip to my mum an awkward one when i go to the butchery with my mum - which i may never actually do ever again!
posted by TwoFlower at 11:24 PM
4 Comments:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
He works at the butcher!!
Bwahahahahaahahahhahahahaahha!
2f c'mon girl things are not this bad!!!???? SURELY????
Anywhosiebees what you do is you do not respond thereby giving this little lamb chop (ppppwahahaha) time to get over his minced little heart (guffaw guffaw)and to stop thinking about your tender thighs (I just can't stop) and your meaty breasts (teeeeehheeehheeeheeehee)!
Or he butchers you in your slee next time you're visiting mum!!
Oh god somebody stop me!
you are terrible!!! haha! my excuse is that i was debaucherly finished and it seemed like a good idea at the time....
*sigh* - i hang my head in shame...
I say, if you explained the situation to him (that he was an easy score) you are no longer obliged to act like you are long-lost soul mates or even potentially friends. You can ignore his sms's guilt-free. If the guy knows the situation & ignores it, no amount of explaining via sms's will help. They will rather keep him in his own warped world. Just offer to go buy the booze while your mom goes to the butcher, in future.
[I have no puns for this - muddelpuddle excelled in using most of them. Good form!]
Champers where you been babe???
2f I'm with her on everything
No need to cook his steak anymore (WAHAHAAHA) and if he continues to grill you (oh my god bwahaha) then I say skin the bastard and hang him out to dry! (its just too too much)
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