male envy
there are a couple of things that i envy about men (penises NOT being one of them) but there is one in particular that will always frustrate me - that one thing is the bane of a woman's existence, namely WEIGHT...yes, the dreaded 'W' word.
men can eat what they want, when they want and their food does not go anywhere on their hips, ass or thighs but rather straight to the sewerage department. if i even smell a yummy pepper steak pie my thighs and hips seem to think its reason to spread outwards and perhaps develop a few new dimples just for shits and giggles. why is this? yes, i know men generally have faster metabolisms that women but they don't really need such a thing nearly as much as women do.
REASONS WHY WOMEN NEED THE FASTER METABOLISM:
1. women wear tighter and more revealing clothes than men therefore when we eat too much its generally noticeable in our bloated tummies. AND if we wear clothes to hide our wobbly bits men don't seem to even notice our existence. (perhaps i am being harsh here but if you have read my previous posts regarding CS then you will realise that i am in an angry/depressed/woe as me place!)
2. men think they're sexy even if they've got a beer boep - women (me in particular perhaps) freak out at the slightest dimple or wobbly bit...
3. men are so more judgemental of a woman's appearance (think fashion TV, think models, think cheerleaders, think ANY movie where the actress makes a matchstick look fat), therefore she feels she has to be permanently skinny which in turn means she feels she needs a faster metabolism.
its unfair that men place such a high value on uber skinny women, whatever happened to the good old marilyn monroe figure - you know, the fuller figured, volumptous (spelling?) woman? i want that to become a fad again.
if you have managed to read this far into my bitching session, perhaps you've noticed that i'm having a slight fixation on my weight. for good reason though. i have picked up four, FOUR, kilograms since the beginning of this year - i feel so frumpy and unattractive. and its really not that i eat unhealthily, its because i have not had time to go to gym so far this year thanks to my honours course and my shitty gym contract but oh, that is about to change - its called PRIORITISING.
i NEED to lose some weight by September/beginning October. its not a matter of choice anymore. its something i HAVE to do.
i am going to gym tomorrow (tuesday) and i am starting my striptease classes the following week (i may even increase my daily amount of cigarettes as a substitute for food).
being the lady i am (me, really, no?!) i shall not divulge my weight but let me tell you this: i want to lose five kilograms by September - i shall be doing a shitload of exercise: gym, striptease classes and i will be eating even more healthily than i already do!
oh, its on....
men can eat what they want, when they want and their food does not go anywhere on their hips, ass or thighs but rather straight to the sewerage department. if i even smell a yummy pepper steak pie my thighs and hips seem to think its reason to spread outwards and perhaps develop a few new dimples just for shits and giggles. why is this? yes, i know men generally have faster metabolisms that women but they don't really need such a thing nearly as much as women do.
REASONS WHY WOMEN NEED THE FASTER METABOLISM:
1. women wear tighter and more revealing clothes than men therefore when we eat too much its generally noticeable in our bloated tummies. AND if we wear clothes to hide our wobbly bits men don't seem to even notice our existence. (perhaps i am being harsh here but if you have read my previous posts regarding CS then you will realise that i am in an angry/depressed/woe as me place!)
2. men think they're sexy even if they've got a beer boep - women (me in particular perhaps) freak out at the slightest dimple or wobbly bit...
3. men are so more judgemental of a woman's appearance (think fashion TV, think models, think cheerleaders, think ANY movie where the actress makes a matchstick look fat), therefore she feels she has to be permanently skinny which in turn means she feels she needs a faster metabolism.
its unfair that men place such a high value on uber skinny women, whatever happened to the good old marilyn monroe figure - you know, the fuller figured, volumptous (spelling?) woman? i want that to become a fad again.
if you have managed to read this far into my bitching session, perhaps you've noticed that i'm having a slight fixation on my weight. for good reason though. i have picked up four, FOUR, kilograms since the beginning of this year - i feel so frumpy and unattractive. and its really not that i eat unhealthily, its because i have not had time to go to gym so far this year thanks to my honours course and my shitty gym contract but oh, that is about to change - its called PRIORITISING.
i NEED to lose some weight by September/beginning October. its not a matter of choice anymore. its something i HAVE to do.
i am going to gym tomorrow (tuesday) and i am starting my striptease classes the following week (i may even increase my daily amount of cigarettes as a substitute for food).
being the lady i am (me, really, no?!) i shall not divulge my weight but let me tell you this: i want to lose five kilograms by September - i shall be doing a shitload of exercise: gym, striptease classes and i will be eating even more healthily than i already do!
oh, its on....
posted by TwoFlower at 12:05 PM
10 Comments:
With regards to metabolism, you can actually take supplements to boost it.
I must disagree on one point. While men may be somewaht judgemental regarding women's appearance, other women are the biggest culprits. In my view men are a lot more forgiving in this realm than women realise. Other women on the other hadcan be complete dogs about it. More often that not you're dressing to impress other women.
RC - you're right about women being the more judgemental and definitely the more bitchy when it comes to what other women are wearing. damn women! ha ha!
i know all the women magazines say that men don't care if you've got cellulite or your tummy is slightly non-sixpack but still, after one sees a man ogle after Fashion TV one cannot help but feel inadequate!
Revolving, yes there are supplements to boost your immune system, but research & common sense have shown that continued long-term use of speed is not the healthiest practice.
As for men in the whole weight issue. How have you missed seeing all the fat guys around town, let alone the slightly podgy ones that we still find so attractive in their own right. Men DEFINITELY put weight on.
I don't think they obsess over uber-thin chicks. They do this odd thing of oggling over Fashion TV until you give them this perturbed sideways stare and they usually quieten down & hit normality again.
Also, I think the whole weight thing really comes down to how attractive you feel in yourself. The guy notices when you are just loving life and yourself and are confident. For chicks though, we often shoot ourselves in the foot by only feeling this way when we are at a happy weight for ourselves, not a happy weight for the guys.
Twoflower - you're on for losing kilos by Sept. I am also on a mission, but I am gonna put myself at 3 kilos. Cool?
Champers I must say well said!
Although 2f i tend to agree with you that some men do like a skinny biatch but and a big BUTT, this is not always the case.
Jlo has a now famous infamous derriere and uuuuuhhhhhhhhh HULLLLLOOOOOO????
APPLE-BUM GIRL?????
It looks like an apple, like stands out and is all plump and shit???
MMmmmmmmmmmmmm yummy!
Goorooo is also right - chicks are nasty to other chicks but this stems from jealousy, so if you got women eyeballing you - YOU GO GIRL!
you're all so right! i think i was just having a bad day with regards to my weight!
champs - i agree with muddle! you could not have said it any better!
sometimes i think i should just print out all these comments and keep them on my mirror for reminding when i'm having a crappy day!
thanks guys and girls!
oh, almost forgot...champs you can be my weight buddy! we can keep each other informed on our progress! as the saying goes - misery loves company! ha ha!
Ah Two Flower, now those men that think a beer boep is sexy are north of the Jukskei as we speak plotting there next braai and rugby match! A guy that thinks that a tyre around the midrif is sexy is bound to look like Eugene Tereblanche,,,,,,,, Twats they are.....
Excellent! And on that note I am off to the gym, where I also better weigh myself to have the first clue what I am losing 3 kilos from... Good Luck to the both of us. Oh, is this till the beginning of Sept or the end of Sept?
Strip Tease classes, thats great.... what do they teach you I mean do they have a male model that one can practise with.. did you check out the joint you are going for lessons at?
Twoflower, just to let you know I have posted our mission on my blog... So I guess it really is on now. fck.
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